[00:00:01] Opening + New Energy

Robyn: Welcome back to Form + Frequency. We have a new camera.
Alexandra: And you chopped off all your hair!
Robyn: I did. There are some new visuals happening — lots of changes. It feels fun, but also weird seeing our new configuration.
Alexandra: My hair’s not chopped, but the camera’s a nice addition.
Robyn: Maybe we’ll chop it on the show next time.
Alexandra: Based on our topic, that would actually be relevant.

Robyn: Oh, it’s good to be back. We had to bump it from yesterday, but Friday feels good — Thursday energy is still in the work mode, Friday starts to soften. Even though we don’t have 9-to-5 schedules, you still feel everyone else’s rhythm.
Alexandra: Yes — phones ringing off the hook!
Robyn: I always think of the planetary rulers of each day. If you know a bit of French, you can see it: mercredi = Mercury — communication; jeudi = Jupiter — expansion and luck; vendredi = Venus — love and beauty.
Alexandra: So maybe it was always meant to be on a Friday. Talk French to me.
Robyn: Mercure…
Alexandra: Stop — I’m blushing already!

Robyn: I’m going to light our candle. This episode is a break in our usual routine — we’re pausing the Principles of Beauty to have a very important and timely conversation.
Alexandra: One you might enjoy even more.
Robyn: Buckle up, baby. Also, everyone please comment on how beautiful she looks with her new hair.
Alexandra: Thank you — it feels so light, so me.
Robyn: It’s your signature style.
Alexandra: I can’t believe how much faster and easier it is — and that ties right into today’s topic.

Robyn: Lighting the candle — what’s our intention?
Alexandra: Femininity. Softness.
Robyn: I’ll pair that with boldness, directness, and clarity — so we can be both.
Alexandra: I love that.
Robyn: Okay — today’s topic. I want you to share how this one came to be.

[00:04:09] Consumerism, Desire & The Meaning of Beauty

Alexandra: The topic of un-attachment came from feeling this tension between always wanting to create beauty in my life — and especially in others’ — and how that can slip into consumerism. People fill voids with unintentional consumption that never ends.

We’ve all bought something we saved for, wanted for so long — and within days we’re wanting the next new thing. Every industry is designed for that: clothes, tech, cars. They keep us chasing the newest thing and never feeling enough.

I did a meditation this morning on mimicking — how we try to embody someone else’s lifestyle. It made me ask: where have I mimicked someone I admire, and lost myself in the process? What’s really mine?

For me, I love fast cars — that’s always been true. I had to ask, do I want them for the status, or because I love the beauty and feeling of speed? Turns out it’s both. I love German-engineered cars — the Audi RS6 Avant has been my dream car forever.

They’re discontinuing it after 2025, which made me think: I don’t want any car. I want that one. It’s fast, beautiful, practical — a wagon that handles Canadian winters. I’d drive it into the ground.

Now I think about everything like that — am I bringing something into my wardrobe or home that I’ll still love in ten years? When I was twenty, I couldn’t answer that. Now I know myself enough to choose with intention.

Robyn: That’s the biggest key — knowing ourselves enough to choose intentionally.

[00:10:02] Evolving Identity + Letting Go

Robyn: The choices I made in my twenties reflected who I was then; my choices now reflect who I am today. I imagine my forties and fifties will reveal new layers.

There are identities I held so tightly — roles I thought were my truth. But as I’ve grown, I see that many weren’t serving me anymore. My eternal optimism and rose-colored glasses — they’ve been both gift and Achilles heel.

As those glasses fade, I see more clearly — myself, what I want, where I lied to myself. We’re calling this The Art of the Unattached Life for a reason. There’s a Buddhist teaching that the root of all suffering is attachment.

Attachment to roles, identities, things, people, places — all of it.

I was talking to a friend who divorced after 25 years. She didn’t realize how attached she still was to their house — it symbolized their whole life together. She couldn’t even drive through the neighborhood without anxiety.

She did a meditation to thank and release the house. After that, she could visit freely. That’s the power of letting go.

I’m seeing where I grip too tightly — to things, people, places, ideas, versions of myself. Even hair. Whatever — it grows back. But being attached to aspects of our appearance or identity really holds us back more than we realize.

Letting go is the hardest part — but it’s freeing.

Alexandra: Exactly. And Buddhism models that un-attachment so beautifully. Have you seen the Dalai Lama laugh? He’s so wise and yet childlike. That’s what freedom looks like.

I watched a video of Will Smith talking about a psilocybin journey. He saw everything he loved — his home, his wife, his children — disappear. And he realized: who am I without any of it? That was his awakening.

Robyn: Wow. We all need our own version of that — whether through meditation, nature, or something else. Who am I without the labels, the relationships, the things? That’s what I’m exploring right now.

[00:18:01] Life Reorganization: Marriage, Business & Self

Robyn: I’ve been going through my own season of letting go — my marriage and my business.

After nine years together, I realized he wasn’t serving my highest growth, and I wasn’t serving his. It wasn’t an overnight thing — it was, as I told him, death by a thousand cuts.

Letting go hurts, but it’s right. And at the same time, my business has been shifting — I’ve had trademark challenges with Soulbrand™, and it’s forcing me to ask: is this name still the truest reflection of who I am?

When I incorporated, that word fit perfectly. But does it reflect the next nine years? I’m not sure.

I kept feeling like I was pushing a boulder up a mountain — exhausted, constantly striving. Finally, I let it go. After nine years of pushing, I just watched it roll to the bottom — and felt relief.

Now I’m standing halfway up the mountain with no boulder, realizing maybe I can just keep walking.

I can see how attached I was to being a wife and to being “the owner of Soulbrand.” Both identities defined me. Now that I’ve released them, I feel lighter, clearer — but also face the question: who am I without them?

That’s what I’m figuring out.

Alexandra: Those are big, brave changes — moments you’ll never forget.
Robyn: Totally. I’ve been taking mental snapshots through all of it — because I know I’ll look back on this time as a turning point.

[00:24:43] Origins: Why Marketing, Why Purpose

Alexandra: Can I ask — why did you go into marketing?
Robyn: When I went to Queen’s, I didn’t even know what commerce was. The website said if you’re good at math and English, you’ll be good at commerce. Those were my favorite subjects, so I applied.

I got in, saw that only a few percent were accepted, and thought, I guess I should go. I still didn’t know what it was. I showed up to classes in finance, accounting, economics — and realized I liked marketing best because it used both sides of my brain.

After corporate sales, I started my own business because I saw friends doing meaningful work but struggling to tell their story.

Alexandra: But when you were eighteen, why did you even want to go to university?
Robyn: Because it was expected. I didn’t know there was another option. I was always the high-achieving student — so of course I’d go.

Alexandra: That’s the mimicking again — doing what’s expected instead of what’s yours.
Robyn: Exactly.

I’ve always been creative — drawing magazines as a kid, rearranging my room, reading floor-plan books, organizing everything. That’s who I’ve always been: creative and structured.

Alexandra: And you’ve always wanted to help people.
Robyn: Sort of. I’m an idealist — I see the highest potential in people and in systems. I hold impossible standards. It’s a gift and a curse.

[00:33:22] Attachment, Achievement & Fulfillment

Alexandra: Hot-seat question: if you didn’t achieve your biggest dreams, would you still feel fulfilled?
Robyn: A month ago — no. Today — maybe. Because of the love and support I’ve felt lately. Maybe I could die tomorrow knowing I loved well and was loved — and maybe that’s enough.

Alexandra: That’s it — desire deeply, but stay unattached. You can want the dream and still be okay without it.
Robyn: Yes. Manifest clearly, but don’t cling to how it happens.

It’s like asking God for a cake, and He gives us flour, eggs, sugar. We complain, “I wanted cake!” And He’s like, “It’s all right here.”

[00:38:05] Overthinking, Presence & Contentment

Robyn: I notice I create mental rules that become a bind — like the vines in Harry Potter. The more you struggle, the tighter they hold you. When you get still, you’re freed.

I can get caught in analyzing whether I’m “manifesting right” or “being a good projector” in Human Design. Eventually I realized I was just trapping myself.

Alexandra: The better question is, am I content right now? And if not, what do I need — water, a walk, a friend?

Humans need humans. We’re not meant to be independent; we’re inter-dependent.
Robyn: Exactly. Someone else made your coffee this morning — we’re all connected.

[00:43:16] Labels, Divorce & Redefining Love

Robyn: One of the strangest parts has been accepting the label “divorced.” It’s not an identity, but society treats it like one.
Alexandra: I hate the word “ex.” It sounds like exiled. I say “former partner.”
Robyn: Yes — and love, even when it ends, is still sacred.

I don’t regret anything. It was an incredibly important part of my life and growth.
Alexandra: How brave — to enter love deeply, and just as bravely, to walk away when it’s time.
Robyn: Life is worth living. Love is worth experiencing. I’m not hardened — maybe more discerning, but still open.

I actually advocate for love even more now. It’s healing, even if it isn’t forever.

Alexandra: Some things are for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Love, business, friendship, solitude — they all heal if we let them.
Robyn: Exactly. That’s the art of non-attachment — to desire, but hold it lightly.

[00:49:10] Trust, Faith & Following Intuition

Robyn: We make life harder by ignoring our intuition. If we paid attention sooner, we’d save so much heartache.

For me, truth speaks through my body — chills, tears, expansion. Falsehood feels flat or tight. Flatness used to confuse me, but now I know it’s information too.

I was raised to think elders and authority always knew better — priests, teachers, parents — so I took their words as truth even when they felt flat. Now I know: if it doesn’t resonate in my body, it’s not truth for me.

That’s what I’m learning to trust.

[00:55:03] The Moment of Contentment

Alexandra: Right now, I feel completely content. I don’t want for anything.
Robyn: Presence — that’s it. We’re always looking at how far up the mountain we still have to climb instead of noticing how far we’ve come.

Alexandra: Exactly. Masculine energy drives forward; feminine energy pauses, creates, receives. We need both — vision and presence.
Robyn: Both can coexist.

[00:58:40] Meaning, Fun & The Feminine Reframe

Alexandra: We keep saying we want to have more fun on this show — and somehow we always end up talking about the meaning of life.
Robyn: Maybe that is our fun.
Alexandra: Probably.

Robyn: The candle’s still lit —
Alexandra: Until now! You picked it up and it went out. Perfect ending.

Robyn: Reflect on what to let go of, how to have more fun, and how to live a little lighter.
Alexandra: The end.

[01:01:54] Closing

Robyn: Thanks for tuning in to Form + Frequency.
Come hang out with us on Substack, YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
Visit form-frequency.com to submit your design therapy question or explore more.
And if this resonated, share it with your people — the ones walking this path of authentic, creative expression with you.
We’ll see you next time.